The Jerk Hall of Fame

why boys are shitheads (or more generously, relationships SUCK):

exhibit A: coworker
her ex was coming to visit her for the weekend. she was really excited though she wouldn't admit it because she obviously still cares about him, though he's a total jerk. yaduh yaduh yaDUH. he IMs (mind you, not a call, an IM) her three hours before his arrival in DC to tell her he's in love with another girl, and it would make him uncomfortable to come visit her. is that enough yet? no of course not. and basically, more or less, the only reason he was coming here to visit her was to use her as bait for this other girl he's in love with so she would be more inclined to 'want' him back. uhhhhhhh. SHITHEAD SHITHEAD SHITHEAD SHITHEAD SHITHEAD. he warrants five. at least.

exhibit B: coworker
her ex was SO upset that they didn't stay friends even though he dumped her on her birthday. and then everytime they meet up, he rubs in her face how wonderful his new girlfriend is (the one he was dating when he was just 'taking some space' from my coworker). SHITHEAD SHITHEAD SHITHEAD SHITHEAD. at least he has a small penis.

exhibit C: coworker
who is happily in a relationship with someone worth her time has this IM
conversation with her ex.
him: im interviewing and accepting applications now (for a new girlfriend)
him: so you know, if you wanna fax me something go ahead
him: but im not making any promises
her: i decline to reapply
him: boooo
him: thats always gonna be the one that pisses me off
her: i don't think that you really would want to date me again
him: whys that
her: because once you thought you could have me then you'd bail
him: i donno about that
him: my whole view is that if you put up with my shit when i was that much
of an asshole, things probably could have been pretty good if i had made an
effort.
SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHEAD.

ladies and gentlemen of the jury, i rest my case.