Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I Want Closure!

so ever since working in a large indoor office environment, i have developed some sort of lung ailment/bronchial plague in which i experience coughing fits no less than 2 times a day, and sneeze about 5 times minimum a day. i also have dry mouth and sandpaper tongue.

but the point is, when i worked at my old internship, when i sneezed (for the sneezing began there), i would receive no less than a resounding chorus of THREE 'bless yous', one always in a southern twang, from the offices and cubicles around me. it was very cushy and very kind.

at my new internship, nothing. i could sneeze ten times in a row, to the point where my head falls off my body with a kerPLUNK and sort of lollies to the side of my right foot looking disheveled, and still, nada. silence. zilch. zippo. absence of sound. universal pausation.

it's very strange. when you sneeze and wait for that semi-sympathetic/semi-congratulatory one or two words (gezundheit will do quite as well) and they do not come. emptiness. pallor. angst. you'd think i'm just overly sensitive because i'm on my period. but it's a definite longing in my life. to be audibly recognized for my respiratory reflexes.

5 comments:

Ron said...

aww...poor baby! i had the same problem with some co-workers some time ago but as it turns out they all worship beelzebub so at least they had a good reason to refrain.

you should probably have all that stuff in your first paragraph checked out...sounds rough.

oh, also, just be careful and don't immediately fall in love with the first person that says 'bless you'. it happened in a seinfeld episode once with george and a married woman. turns out the husband wanted to kill george because he said 'god bless you' to his wife...oh and also subsequently boned her.

hey now...that's a good pickup line. "bless you...so hows about i take you out for some hot chicken soup and we see where it goes from there?"

dink said...

Yes, stuff in your paragraph is definitely not a good thing ;-)

I think you ought to bless yourself. When the sneezing subsides just call out merrily "Gezundheidt" or "bless you" or even "bless you, kiddo"

Possibly this will inspire the politeness dweebs to join in, in any case you'll get blessed.

Aparna said...

ron -- i love seinfeld! i just saw the pet cemetary episode yesterday. oh man. that shiz is classic. well if they worship beezlebub, they should say "curse you" or something equivalent. anything is better than silence!

dink -- yes. these stuff-filled paragraphs must end. i would bless myself but i think the silence following such an occurrence would easily outshine the silence that i already so despise. but i don't hate all silence. no, i definitely don't hate all silence.

C said...

I KNOW WHO THE SOUTHERN ONE WAS! Well fiddle dee dee...you were so kindly to bless me...I'll be switched!

Aparna said...

that's because C, you are IN THE LOOP. and i know you. and i love you dearly. fiddle dee doo.