Wednesday, February 15, 2006

There Was No Way of Knowing

my adopted soldier is a girl. i am a complete dumbass. to my credit, she has a boy's name.

my dad keeps telling me dirty jokes, and asking if i'm ok with them. but they're not even that dirty. or really dirty at all. he makes this really guilty face when he tells them, but i think he just wants to share jokes with me.

most recent:

who works in hooters? women with big breasts work in hooters.
where do women with one leg work? IHOP.

on my own sorry front, i keep writing jokes and then writing HAhahahahahaha after the funny bits of the joke. just to give myself an extra ego boost.

3 comments:

Ron said...

"there was no way of knowing"

exhibit A: "loves fruit roll ups"

exhibit B: "and fashion magazines"

exhibit C: "writes his emails in bright pink and signs them with 'love,'"

exhibit D: "and [he] just broke up with [his] boyfriend "

game, set and match.

ALSO!

i love flipping to the second page of the express. it always provides glorious insight into our blessed world of blithering idiots. i actually read that same article you did and it was quite amusing...it had that picture of the Scorpion Queen and her husband next to it. I'm sorry but the next girl i decide to fall head over hells in love with isn't exactly going to be crawling with scorpions.

also from this morning's express:
"Linda White thinks the Air Canada Center in Toronto should take a penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct after refusing to let her son Brody into Saturday's game with his Maple Leaf sign, because it was deemed a weapon. Brody -- who was attending his first ever Maple Leafs game -- was wearing the team's jersey, puck-head-hat, fake tattoos on his face, a No. 1 foam finger and a No. 1-Leafs cardboard placard that his father had made and players had signed. But then security told him the sign was considered a weapon because of the small stick on the back used to hold it. 'The stick on the back is not much bigger than a paint stir stick,' Linda White said."

straws are pretty dangerous too. someone should warn the kid behind the concession stand.

Aparna said...

i am sheepish. baaaaaa. i love express. like a first-born. or a sugar daddy.

Ron said...

ok but express is cheap (well...free really) and it couldn't afford to take you out on a nice steak dinner(substitute whatever appeals to you crazy vegans) like your first born would (eventually) or let you run wild in a never-ending plantation of wild sugarcane like you know you really want to.

oh yea, to your dad's joke: hahhahahahaah!