Nature's Way of Getting a Chuckle

today during standup. this lady said THANK YOU to the audience at the end of her set and i yelled THANKS back. i didn't yell "no, thank YOU!"...i just yelled THANKS. it was really weird. luckily i must have thrown my voice because no one around me seemed to notice. i know it doesn't seem like that illogical a thing to say but i really yelled it. someone locate the neural pathway behind this mess and fumigate it. this is just one incident. when people used to congratulate me on a job well done, i used to CLAP instead of say thank you. i have a feeling there's a connection. WRD? wrong reaction disorder? i also laugh when people get hurt or are in pain. not serious pain. but basic pain. man, this is really insidious. i need to go to finishing school or something. or a hypnotist.

this reaction has nothing to do with wrong reaction disorder but it LOOKS like it does. think about it.

my mother just burped me. i'm not even kidding.

we can all use a hand occasionally.

my parents, upon their return from chinalicious, made me clean out all the fungus food i created in the fridge while they were gone. it smelled so bad. fermented lentils make me want to hide in a vacuumsealed inorganic pod wallpapered with dryer sheets. eau de sunkissed breeze, embrace me!