Monday, June 12, 2006

HappySadHappySadHAPPYHAPPYSADSAD

oh dear. it's only monday, and i'm not doing so hot. the whole weekend was spent in denial. i put on the best happy face i could. and i even tricked myself sometimes. i laughed genuinely to punctuate the little black holes. about anything i could laugh about. i even stretched it sometimes and forced some laughs. i hate doing it, but sometimes you have to do it. but when i got to work this morning, both my umbrella and i were brimming with tears. not really. but it was a pretty sentence so i wrote it out. oh well. as one of many cliches go, one foot in front of the other, right? the situations that frustrate me the most are those in which i can't do anything. i just have to let them be. ha! go figure. one man's existential crisis can be another's undoing.

truth be told, i don't even feel justified in feeling sad. read any news article, and you'll find a problem bigger than your own. it's not even slightly comparable, my problems to the world's problems. so this weekend and every day i make sure not to forget how amazing it is just to be alive in this world and in a good place. and i'm incredibly lucky. i have a lot. i enjoyed the sun, friends, good company, dancing, running and food. and occasionally, i let myself be sad.

but it's ok. it will be ok. no matter what happens, in the donut factory of life, i might come out slightly misshapen, but i will join the other donuts at the big jellyroll hoedown at the end of the day.

in the meantime, bouncy sad songs, staring into the distance, the news and writing jokes are the order for the day!

life is one manic treat

6 comments:

dink said...

Man what IS it with this up-down-up-down shit life likes to pull?

Aparna said...

i don't know! if you find out, tell me!

sammygeerock said...

Feelin' the same way lately myself Ap. In the words of Tupac: Keep ya head up.

Aparna said...

thanks sammy and tupac.

Yoda said...

The other day at the Baltimore inner harbor, I couldn't but help feel so happy that I was alive and doing decently in life. This is what (sun + cool breeze + friends + a big margarita) do to you.

Aparna said...

woohoo for good weather and good company. i wish i could be more eloquent on the subject.