Real World Gets Four Thousand Bread Puddings, Aparna Gets Poop.

dear babycakes,

(that's how i will now address my collective audience)

guess what? tomorrow is my first day of work at my first real job. i'm nervous as a pillsbury biscuit baking in an oven not preset to 350 degrees. anything could happen. here is an abridged list of my concerns. what if they don't like my spongebob skirt offset with my fishnet leggings? what if they find my freckles pretentious because i'm darkskinned and you can't see them that well? what if someone points out i'm awkward before it's even lunch? what if i fall asleep on the bus and miss my stop? (i'm not taking the bus) what if i brownbag it but i accidentally take my dad's cut up onions instead of my lunch? what if the cute guy in marketing doesn't exist? what if i embarrass myself at the office holiday party? what if i'm not invited to the office holiday party? what if the office holiday party happens but i get the evite forward a week later with Flickr photo gallery links of the fun i missed? what if someone from work tries to friend me on MySpace and i don't "know them like that" yet? what if i get my big break and it turns out to be my femur? what if i get a raise but it's an eyebrow and it's on my supervisor's forehead? what if i turn into a monkey during my dreams tonight and it imbalances my chi and i have to take a crap my first morning of work? in conclusion, what if i'm just what the doctor ordered for the hypochondriac (GET OUT OF MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW)?

best,
aparna


this is how i'm going to start thinking within a week if everything goes according to plan
courtesy of Convergys.
(this is not where i'm working. but their chart does summarize my life goals.)

p.s. i got the serenade of my lifetime this saturday night. two words: Larry Poon!!