this is definitely the irony muppet, i mean, he's freaking wearing a turtleneck
courtesy of Wikipedia
all my interviews have taken to giving me the silent treatment after i go to them and follow up with them. do i call? i can't call! when will they call? when? when? what did i do? why don't they like me? like me please. please. please. RING phone. COME email. the life doctor concludes boys and jobs are all zee same thing!
i hate this thing
courtesy of Fotosearch
but since writing about your romantic life is fun. here's mine. you will find no muy caliente love affairs here, not even tepid ones. so unless you can stomach bread sandwiches (no fillings. no toppings. just bread.), i suggest you turn away and slowly, lest you sprain your heart muscle.
COURTING ROMANCE: Part 1
--i sent my first serious relationship ex an email asking as to how he met his current girlfriend. i see now as to why this seems uncouth. but at the time (midday, post-lunch, when the hormones start a-whirling), it seemed like a fantastic solicitation of help between old chums. i was hoping his girlfriend came in a male version too, maybe? oh screw it. my logic mechanism is currently a highly unstable jenga tower.
jenga go bye bye
courtesy of Phoenix Leisure
COURTING ROMANCE PART 2
--i made a goal to get one phone number today. i stopped a good-looking man wandering around near a fountain in a public place nearing dusk, and said
"sir, you look lost. are you alright?"
and he said, in some kind of european accent, "yes. yes. i am meeting a friend."
and i said "mind if i keep you company while you wait?"
and he said defensively "no really! i am meeting a friend."
and i said "oh, i believed you. i just have some time to kill."
"oh. well, how are you?"
"i'm good. the weather is great."
"yes it is. where is my friend? he is late."
"yes i too am often late *uncomfortable chuckle*"
[silence. NOT LIKE THE KIND BETWEEN OLD FRIENDS.]
(me again) "well i didn't mean to scare you. i hope your friend comes. toodles."
i walk away into the darkening distance as a tumbleweed rolls by
anyway, that particular interaction bolstered my social confidence in ways you can't imagine. *does sarcasm dance*
this is the sarcasm dance
courtesy of BBC
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3 comments:
In those moments of silence the guy was trying to recollect if he had heard of any serial murder suspects in the area.
Seriously, with all those loonies around, who would trust a friendly stranger?
A few days back, I tried to help a couple who seemed lost looking for a garage they parked their car in [there's an awful lot of lost people on campus, 'coz school just started]. They weren't rude, but they let me know that my help was unwarranted for.
WTF?
Guess I'll just put my blinders on and keep walking from now on.
eh i'm not giving up. i might be a bruised peach, but someone around here must still like peaches.
I can relate. Since I've moved to this area, I've found that people are less open and it makes it hard to open up to people. Complimenting a girl's scarf got me laughed at...telling someone their beanie cap was cute got me ignored. Or trying to start a convo about a book someone's reading---a whole 'nother story.
I like your blog because I can relate to these social issues and you have a quirky way of telling stories. Hang in there...things will get better.
You've gained a new reader!
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