Friday, October 06, 2006

How Do You Flick Off a Banana?

attention: bananas are some kind of invasive fruit. when you brownbag your lunch, their singular flavor and body odor manage to contaminate everything else in your bag, despite any food armor constituting tinfoil, saran, ziploc, tupperware or the like. in conclusion, bananas, despite their mushy, fragile consistencies are quite powerful in marking their territory ALL OVER EVERYTHING; the result being that you wish to throw them great distances and/or denounce them publicly.


courtesy of Recipe Zaar
this is just lewd

i just made a phonecall to make a business inquiry and, as i was talking, to my immense horror, i realized i was making rapid gestures with my hand as i was talking. gestures for who? for me? but why? i was putting on a full-on one-woman flamboyent-hand show full of vague and useless gesticulations that would clarify nothing about anything for nobody, except maybe me concerning my lack of decency and good breeding. i was so ashamed i then hyperventilated into my bananafied brown paper bag for a good five minutes, but this solution only proved to create the paragraph preceding this one and some rage.

courtesy of Tsofa
out of control, clearly

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have nothing but contempt for bananas!! I never ever buy them ... despite them being 79c a lb. My roomie on the other hand loves bananas ... a peel in the trash makes the whole house stink like a dumpster. Ugh.

You should take comfort in the fact that I continue to admonish him on banana use regularly.

I have found out that sometimes burning a match eases the situation temporarily ... there's nothing worse than being labeled as a banana eating arsonist, is there?

Ox said...

You and George Bush would get along great with the hand motions and movements. Just don't start sqinting like him and you'll be ok!

Bryan Anthony the First said...

oh aparna!
you and your romance with em yellow (sometimes green) simulation of the male reproductive organ...:)

Banana slit anyone?

woof!

Bryan Anthony the First said...

i mean "split"

hehe

dink said...

My entire elementary school experience is permeated by banana-odor ...with a top note of crayons and pencil shavings.

I'm very suspicious of people who don't use their hands when they talk ...and if you do, you always do even when you're alone--I don't think it's so much to "clarify" anything as it is enthusiasm --it adds oomph.

I think those peeps that talk with their hands in their laps are all tied up and constrained -- and that's just sad.

Just don't gesture with a banana in your hands okay? that's just weird.

Ashley said...

sneaky bananas!! I know what you mean...their tatse gets over everything!!!

But I had yummy banana bread yesterday. It made me happy :)

Aparna said...

sheesh everybody! i don't hate bananas that much. i didn't realize i would unleash so much bananahate. i am very grateful to the banana for its potassium treasures and banana bread and bananas with peanut butter. yoda, i suggest you indulge in some piney incense. ox, really? did you really just make that comparison? bryan anthony, freudian slip, ay? or should i say, slit? dink, i have to say the idea of gesturing with a banana in your hand is too good to give up. ahhh the sweet allure of pencil shavings. ashley, i'm with you on the banana bread. for that, i will always be grateful to le banana.