Friday, November 03, 2006

I'm a Swinger...a Moodswinger...

it's been established and leaked to the press, but you can still hear it here first: I AM A BIPOLAR MACHINE.

awwwww happy happy sad sad!
courtesy of Flickr and Jeaniechou.

i was emotionally flat as a kansas prairie on monday and today, friday, OFF THE CHARTS zany zoop-dee-doo tribble-dibble slipslaphappy trampy pants.

as of yesterday, i've:

~reinstated a crush, but he's on probation and his renewal contract is on the fence. he needs to cut the cheese and up his a-game. i know he doesn't know he's playing. that's not the point!

~came up with a post-halloween pahty costume (CHILD BRIDE!!!, i just have to find a picture of a narsty old man).

~had a bad comedy set and not cared, in fact, reveled in my mediocrity by walking down the streets loudly announcing "y'all don't get me. y'all just don't get...ME." people respect crazy.

~come up with a new method of shaking things up (ask a stranger for the time, and whatever they answer, get real excited real-quicklike & bring your fist down in celebration while simultaneously kicking your opposite foot out and go "YESSSS!" then walk away straight-faced and normally). if you lived in DC, you'd understand.

~changed the ratio in my trail mix from 1 m&m:3 raisins:4 peanuts to 1 peanut:2 raisins:10 m&ms (mucho improved). shout out to my homies in the accounting department for your candy treasurebowl of happyfun.

~discovered the office kitchen, which often contains such goodies as leftover muffins, bagels, sandwiches, fruit salad and pasta salad is now offering a bowl full of 'fancy ketchup' packets. if you must know, i took 10.

oh and lastly, this is a note for me to read on monday:

dear monday-aparna,

quit your moanin' and get to celebratin'. you got your 'fancy ketchup' stash, doncha? well then ACT LIKE IT! if i see one more dour monday blog post, i'm callin' in the authorities and havin' your free speech license revoked until further notice. yes, the authorities happen to be a poster of a precious kitten tangled in a ball of yarn.

love & hijinks, friday-aparna

courtesy of Flickr TopTen.


dink said...

I've stayed out of here because I have not slept in many moons (well two moons) and I can't be trusted.

Two quick comments--maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't encourage my current crush to "cut the cheese" a turn off in some necks of the woodses.

I applaud your adjustment of the trail mix but I prefer chocolate chips to m & ms ...jest becuz.

Ron said...

yeah, people do respect crazy:


EL CERRITO, Calif. - A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors — naked — and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said.

The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path, near a Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said.

John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked whether he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan.
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“You can’t get much more concealed than that,” Horgan said.

Officers drew their weapons and firefighters were called to the scene. Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident.
- Associated Press

So if I walked passed this clearly sane individual who was just a victim of police harrassment I would be like "I totally respect that guy."

Oh, and also if the letter doesn't work just have Friday hire Wednesday Aparna to "take care of" Monday worked for me.

Ron said...

speaking of crazy, apparently TV's loveable Doogie Howser, M.D. has decided he's a little on the homo side of homosapien...I still respect a kid that can take command of a hospital when he isn't old enough to vote.

Aparna said...

dink -- whoops. i forgot what cutting the cheese means in most necks of the woods. but what if they smelled like roses?

ron -- i read about that, and was extremely intrigued! extremely! extreme respect for that guy and cheers to doogie. i wonder if the tool guy was accustomed to such behavior and just had never been caught before. we can only hope!

Aparna said...

ron -- um wait a second. what exactly is so crazy or respect-lacking about coming out of the closet? ...