Monday, April 02, 2007

Getting Through Customs Was the Easy Part

oh wow. being at the office when completely disoriented and existing 10 hours ahead in time makes for a pot roast of confusion. this morning, i had to have a banana to calm myself the heck down. seriously, the thought process went like this:

me: hey, get a hold of yourself!
me: no, i can't. my heart is still in india.
me: well, you need to do your work. there is a himalayan range full of it.
me: stop making india references!
me: holy cow! what are you talking about?
me: dammit! hey quick! what's the lowest common demominator between india and the u.s.?
me: um.
me: camman! you know this!
me: ummmmmm...
me: HEY. GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF.
me: can i phone a friend?
me: NO! never!
me: oh wait! duh! a banana.
me: exactly. a banana. now get one. and eat it.


staring into the peeled face of sanity
photo courtesy of Flickr and massdistraction

so i did. and for two glorious minutes of fruit consumption, there was peace. then it was back to the madness.

which inevitably led to me telling a friend this via the instant message:
if my friends were the mcdonald's characters
you'd be grimace
i'm a mcnugget
don't worry you could squash me
but you're kind of purple and vague


who says that? i do.


photo courtesy of Flickr and tankgrrl

lastly, if you want to cure disorientation and pensiveness on a long airplane ride when you have lots of time to yourself PLUS access to movies, tv, music and more, here is the miracle cure:

--watch the departed
THEN QUICKLY BEFORE YOU HAVE TIME TO GET OVER THE BLOODLUST...
--watch blood diamond (if you're unfamiliar with the amount of violence in this movie, i direct your attention to the title, hint: the word blood is in it)
THEN QUICK QUICK QUICK WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO USE YOUR complimentary toothpick to gouge out your eyes in the airplane bathroom because you've lost faith in humanity...
--watch happy feet
ONLY TO HAVE THE PLANE's INNER ROBOT inform you that there isn't enough time left in the flight to watch your selection...
--then listen to music like coldplay and snow patrol
and rip out pages of your attempted humor novel to blow your nose.


ALL BETTER. now if you'll excuse me, i need to decide what to procrastinate on doing next.

here is the photo i wanted to share with you all. this was on a day out with my cousin rahul. we were at the shooting range next to the go-cart raceway. my gun instructor has a fun shirt. particularly pay attention to the random guy in the background.

4 comments:

burgos said...

haha, you're fun

Yoda said...

I hate long flights. Period. Watching movies on the flight makes me feel giddy. A few days back, I was coming back from LA and I saw Rocky Balboa. I wanted to puke. Seriously. The number of kids on the plane was one too many for comfort.

The random guy is now the star of this blog!

Lisa Fine Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

OMG that photo with the guy's expression cracked me up. That is awesome you find restorative powers in banana. Mine would be in something much less healthy like chocolate or CapN Crunch...


Your trip sounds awesome. I can imagine how hard it would be to try and return to regular life after such an amazing trip.

Lisa

Aparna said...

burgos -- a city in spain?! you don't say!

yoda -- random guy, we must find him...long flights are out until joan rivers say otherwise.

lisa -- don't get me wrong, the banana and i are hardly friends. we tolerate each other, at best.