Sleeping Beasty

my day is completely thrown off. i was doing fine, albeit very tired, this morning. but then i fell asleep outside during "lunch." i say "lunch" because i ate quickly and robotically. then i wrote down a joke idea distractedly. then i fell asleep on a bench in direct sunlight. when i woke up, i felt like rip van winkle. like i had just woken from a 4000 year slumber. my skin felt baked. my eyes were parched. i felt like i had just been deposited in another dimension and i didn't speak the same language as everyone else. not just speech language. but idea language. no points of reference whatsoever.


what the
photo courtesy of Flickr and faster panda kill kill

then when i sat back down at my desk, i couldn't get a grip on reality and all my thoughts had barbs in them. that's when i started to feel the ants in my pants. literally. i had accumulated about 5 ants in my pants. so far, i've let them be other then a quick shake-up just to let them know who's "boss." they're actually grounding me via sensation in my legs.

also my bra keeps exposing itself. and no, i'm not talking some insignificant crap like my bra straps, i mean my bra cups keep saying "hey let us outta here! hey hoo hey whee!" i am past the point of caring. now i'm trying to see just how much i can expose without people noticing. lucky for me, everyone went home. i'm not being indecent! stop that outraged rumpus.

who's glad it's friday?! am i right?!

(i said this last friday too. i'm trying to turn into "that guy.")