Coffee: Hello!
Mouth: No! Poo! Is that you?
Coffee: Here I am again!
Mouth: Help!
Coffee: I can't heaaaaaar youuuuuuuu...
Mouth: *dry heaves*
Coffee: Yeah! It's a party!
Mouth: I daresay, my good chap, unhand my tongue!
The only problem was I got the coffee from a girl working at the coffee shop under direct supervision of a manager. If I tried to return the coffee pleading a free replacement for the grievous injury done to my taste buddies, I would certainly get her in trouble of the grittiest kind. So I decided to just throw it away.
it wasn't that the coffee was missing sugar, but rather, a heart OR
alternate caption: grounds for a lawsuit
photo courtesy of Flickr and Steve Longus
As I was throwing the vile stuff away, it splashed on the wrong side of the trashcan, proving it was bad both in taste and character. That is to say, it fell on the trashcan instead of in the trashcan. And that, ladies and men, is how I created more trouble for society by trying to stay under the radar.
I think we know how the lesson goes. Give a man a coffee, he'll wake up. Teach a man to get a coffee, you've got yourself a new intern.
I'm not going to apologize for this rambly nonsense. It's Monday. That's right. The classic Monday defense. The oldest pity party in the book! Respect your elderly parties. Metamucil mini quiches and all.
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3 comments:
Grounds for a lawsuit. NICE.
For me, the best part of waking up is a good pun. I am indifferent toward Folgers.
For the record, I also would have accepted a caption involving the term "Scar-bucks" or "I got (Maxwell) Housed." Or, depending on the franchise, "Cari-boo."
Grounds for a lawsuit. NICE.
For me, the best part of waking up is a good pun in my cup.
My figurative cup. And for the record, I also would have accepted a caption involving the term "Scar-bucks" or "I got (Maxwell) Housed." Or, depending on the franchise, "Cari-boo."
Also sorry this comment is a week late. But it is only one Monday late. Which I feel is entirely acceptable.
I like how this comment came in two varieties! Collect them all!
They both left my ego feeling refreshingly awake!
I didn't even know comments could be late.
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