Garden Statements

Oh! I wrote this month's NBC blog about Alice. I keep thinking about her, and it felt right.

***

Why did no one tell me about Nick Drake earlier?! And I have to go and learn these things from books. Just kidding; there's no better way to find out about cool things than through books that are made of fiction, based in reality. You feel like you've been let in on a best-kept secret. Most fitting that I learn about Nick Drake through Nick Hornby.

(speaking of Nicks, Nick Turner called me a pixie yesterday)

Listen to the Drake here. Zach Braff went googly-eyed for this guy. What's stopping the rest of us? Besides Zach Braff forcing his tastes on us, I mean.

Enough pop references! The new haircut. Well; it has returned to its natural, free, curly, unkempt state. My head looks like some kind of microcosm of chaos, but hey, I'm not apologizing. What you see is what you get!

I am still obsessed with the psychology behind mass emails and the reply-all function. Especially when those mass emails concern comedians. It immediately turns into a WHO DA FUNNIEST competition, arbitrated by no one because no one cares, and yet the ones duking it out with slams and counter-retorts care far beyond what is appropriate for a weekday afternoon.

I'll give you a completely random example!

Sender: FooBear
Recipients: ChooBear, RooBear, GooBear, BlooBear, GlooBear
Subject: Has anyone seen my socks?
Body: Well?

1 minute later...

Sender: ChooBear
Recipients: FooBear, RooBear, GooBear, BlooBear, GlooBear
Subject: RE: Has anyone seen my socks?
Body: I'm wearin' em!

30 second later...

Sender: RooBear
Recipients: ChooBear, FooBear, GooBear, BlooBear, GlooBear
Subject: RE: RE: Has anyone seen my socks?
Body: I put one over the doorknob. You know what that means...

2 minutes later...

Sender: BlooBear
Recipients: ChooBear, RooBear, GooBear, FooBear, GlooBear
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Has anyone seen my socks?
Body: I love socks. You could say I have a sock-shual feetish. However, that's just my two innocence.

1 minute later...

Sender: RooBear
Recipients: ChooBear, FooBear, GooBear, BlooBear, GlooBear
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Has anyone seen my socks?
Body: You guys! I meant, I have a girlfriend now, and I am getting sweet action!

30 seconds later...

Sender: GlooBear
Recipients: ChooBear, RooBear, GooBear, BlooBear, FooBear
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Has anyone seen my socks?
Body: UNSUBSCRIBE.

1 minute later...

Sender: ChooBear
Recipients: FooBear, RooBear, GooBear, BlooBear, GlooBear
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Has anyone seen my socks?
Body: I think you just got your answer, FooBear. Gloobear is clearly guilty. BURN, SON!!!!!!!!!!

If you find my example tragic and telling, you should see my inbox.

Speaking of tragic and telling, there was this womanface at this comedy show last night who proceeded to make a face and a snide comment indicating how she felt after every single one of everybody's jokes last night. I'll give you a hint. Most of the comments and faces were negative.

I don't even understand what this person would be like in real life. Oh wait, still annoying. Guess that answers that life mystery. (I'm such a jerk! HeeHoo!)