As payment, I tried to put my credit card in the office vending machine this afternoon. (In the dollar slot.)
Also, it is stupid cold outside today.
Which brings me to my next point that one-time use adhesive toewarmers are the closest thing to over-the-counter-yet-somehow-still home remedies that exist because they're like science experiments in your socks even though you pick them up at the drugstore, maybe just innocently thinking, "Oh, these could really warm up my girlfriend's tootsies, and earn me some major points!" Because that's what Boyfie thought. Instead they almost burned my feet off—though to be fair, with kindness.
Let's be real. Adhesive toewarmers are made with carbon, salt, iron, and other natural things so how could they possibly cause you harm? Uh, let me easily counter that by saying those bad boys also happen to be the same ingredients listed on the packaging of an active volcano.
To be brutally honest, it all started out harmlessly enough. I peeled the backs off and stuck them way down cozy in my woolly socks. They started heating up nice and easy, and my feet giggled to themselves with unfamiliar, curious delight. But soon they were getting uncomfortably warm, searing even!
Then it soon felt like my feet were slowly and tenderly baking in a clay oven. And my feet are inedible by any stretch! I don't care how hungry you are! So the warmers had to come off.
Yes, exactly, except it's like the feet were in the fire.
photo courtesy of Flickr and iwona_kellie
Also I had a real whale's tail of a time trying to find a place to put them down because they practically burned holes through everything they touched. Ok, not really, but since when has exaggeration been the archnemesis of a good story? Anyway, several hours later, the white circle-pads lay quietly on the floor, icy to the touch (just like my feet), revealing nothing of their wild rollercoaster of a recent past.