Join Us for Dinner Some Night, Bring a Lazy Eye and a Wayward Tongue

just-had conversation between mother scavenging the pantry and errant child:

mother: are these oatcakes good?
me: no.
mother: yes, but can i eat them?
me: well you can eat anything if you really want to.
mother: but will i like them?
me: no.
mother: well, who bought all this grape juice?
me: i think dad did...for you.
mother: well that's so thoughtful of him. but why so much?
me: ...
mother: *nervous titter* *nervous titter* *nervous titter*

it's amazing how little logic is needed to converse with those with whom you're best acquainted.