Reality TV Versus "Real" Life

In attempting to live my life and create a guiding foundation for some sort of a moral code, I am breaking the three covenants of reality TV by saying the following.

(But hey, I am willing to be the character everyone hates to love, but they just do anyway, unconditionally and eternally.)

1. I like drama in small, manageable amounts.

There. I said it.

I feel so freeeeeeeeeeeeee!

2. I am here to make friends.

3. I don't always keep it real.

The converses of all three of these statements are staunch pillars for all reality shows everywhere and also most Bollywood and Lifetime movies where friends, fates, and destinies are all pre-arranged in the cosmos akin to a two-piece jigsaw puzzle. And drama is embraced, but only with the caveat that no one approves of it in the least.

But I'm pretty sure these "principles" are upheld with a huge wink and a nod (plus a covert double thumbs up) to the offstage producer.

So without further ado, let's roll!

For your viewing pleasure, I present to you...

A GALLERY OF CATFIGHTS

Catfight, Indoors
photo courtesy of Flickr and Mel B.


Catfight, Outdoors (Suburban)
photo courtesy of Flickr and gerriet


Catfight, In the Wild
photo courtesy of Flickr and tiny froglet


Catfight, Black and White (They so rarely are!)
photo courtesy of Flickr and Da_Vinzy

The Drama Queen's Understudy Makes Her Amateur Debut

I thought you guys should know. I reordered a specialty coffee drink yesterday.

Yup.

I got the first one.

It tasted heavily of ashes and chocolate water slightly mixed with a hint of mint.

I considered my unassertive options. I actually didn't sample the brewed poison until I had vacated the vendor's premises.

I realized I couldn't afford two mid-priced luxury beverages in one day.

So I marched (more like tippytoed) back to the esteemed cafe, and I was all halfheartedly (as if it were out of my hands), "Something doesn't taste right!" and they were all "We're sorry! We're sorry!" And then I was all "Not as sorry as I am!"

Then I tried to change my drink order to something simpler, but the owner insisted that the barista remake my original drink. Which I then tasted in front of the whole staff, beaming, thrilled at how impossibly good it was...(and the Oscar weiner for Best Supporting Overactress, in a Tragicomedy, goes to...)

But hey, standing up for myself without having to make jokes about it, wasn't the end of me. I mean, I guess it was half bad, but it was half alright too. Insert witty half & half line here, and tie it in with coffee reference.

This is going to be me in a year. Block and punch, but verbally!
photo courtesy of Flickr and cheetah100

***

Today, continuing my aggressive streak, I almost took out a manchild on crutches.

Fittingly, he commented, "So sorry about that!"

Because he's the one who was clearly an imposition on the door I flung open all wild and crazylike. Riiight.