I Forgot to Study My Fruits and Veggies

So when I walked into the office kitchen, I pretty much knew this was a test for me laid out by the universe.


I went by the time-old adage: Never be afraid to fail!


Seriously, you guys, COOKIE CAKE with Halloween frosting. I mean, whaaaaaaaattt. *burp*

Self-Helpless? Try a Sugar-Fix!

The more self-help I read, the more I'm learning to not be afraid of negative feelings, but to just embrace them.

Ok!

But what does that mean?

I mean when I'm sad for no (apparent) reason, and it happens from time to time (oh does it happen!), I just sit in it, in a kiddie pool of self-pity, slapping pats of mud on myself. That's really pretty much as embracing as one can get.

Sure, bookstore. Lump a science together with a yuppie trend, why not?
photo courtesy of Flickr and victoriapeckham

I'm not sure it helps though! People keep talking about some miraculous sense of freedom from embracing their sadness and anger. In fact, it sounds so liberating and mysteriously fulfilling that it almost seems like they're...peacefully happy? Full circle, folks! Those hippies have done it again. And I mean that in a nice, enlightened way.

***

There is an o-my-gawd. (Via Cupcake Takes the Cake)

Read it and weep for joy. But seriously, I love that this article was posted in the Health & Life section. I can think of no better way to bring HEALTH to your LIFE than by consuming a tiny vat full of the love child of butter and sugar. NO BETTER WAY.

Holy sugar-high, Dark Knight!

Surprisingly, it took me a real time to find a good frosting picture. I kept getting icy windowpanes, and that junx would just not do.

Oh, I see. You're perfect.
photo courtesy of Flickr and jslander

But Flickr always comes through when your peepers crave colors, shapes, and textures with just a glimmer of reality.

The Superpowers That Be

To clear the airwaves, yes, half my head did appear a couple times on the Last Comic Standing premiere last night. Also about half a second of me frolicking offstage. The fame is going to half of my head already. Why just this morning I had to indulge in starting a few lies about myself, and circulating them between the alarm clock and...myself. Lies such as "I don't need you telling me how to run my life, clock!" and "Maybe just five more minutes..."

In other (literally) breaking news, I was adjusting my sunglasses on my forehead this morning, when they snapped clean in half. It was a moment straight out of a comic-book action hero movie. More specifically, the scene near the beginning wherein the hero/heroine is first discovering his/her superpowers. What do you mean you don't get it? Ok, so I didn't accidentally melt a wall with my mind. But my shades literally just snapped in half, and I barely touched them!

Sunglasses half empty.

What do you mean they were probably cheap? How dare you!

I mean it's true, but still, how dare you!

The Bauble-Bustin'-Babe and her sidekick Trinketz the Alarm Clock are not amused.

Affirmation O'Death

i discovered a beautiful band yesterday―they describe themselves as gothic/country/punk, and as sounding like "steam train, wet soil, bad dog, dried blood, knock kneed, blackgrass, rickety fence teeth, men with beards."

oh, i thought of another way to describe their sound. it's perfect music for a goth BBQ.

the lead singer's voice is a diary entry that embarrasses you to read, yet you frame it in a public place as permanent constant proof that life is capable of producing such a sublime slip of grim crackle.

photo courtesy of Maryanne Ventrice

all of their songs ended in wild rusty forgotten roadhouse stage cavorting, and the main guy asked if anyone had a place for five people to sleep that night in D.C. because they didn't know anybody and had never been here before. i trust they got more than a few invites after their set.

oh. also there was a ukulele onboard; othar the tooth collector is on bass; and there's a guy in charge of whooping.


photo courtesy of Maryanne Ventrice

the music critic makes you roll your eyes affectionately in solidarity...

Brooklyn's O'Death shares some commonalities with a shootout that winds up leaving a saloon worse for wear and without a single glass capable of holding any liquid. The band is like the cry of a cougar and the sharp, invigorating pain that would be produced as a glass was smashed into your forehead.
~Daytrotter.com

P.S. they were opening for the also-lovely Murder By Death (with a cello, hey hey hey!)

Good Grief, This Is Too Much

i'm having trouble reconciling myself with the fact that i have lived this long without this video in my life:

WORLD'S MOST GIANT KILLER SPIDER!!!


choice commentary:

carlosirons
i thought it was real! haha

aerosmithrox20
omg that was as scary as heck i thought it was real i was like run lady god

duke0302
i thought it was real too i was like RUN RUN LITTLE LITTLE KIDS! lol

sekret24boy
lol oh man i thought that was real for a few seconds than I saw the doggy XD oh god my eyes were opened wide for that moment ^_^;;;

also go see T-Pain Giggling! instant oatmeal of a crowd pleaser.

mad props to Nicky T for the tips. i tip my hat to you, sir!

Go 'Head Internet, Work It Grrrrl!

That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Blogging + Bragging = Brogging

some recent good news in the world of tragicomedy! new year, same bad attitude.


here is me looking faux-smug. the hawt new face of 08.

i have a monthly blogging spot on here for a year, and other good news also revealed on this page (wear yer disbelief suspenders). thank you everyone for being supportive and encouraging. you all are the cat's onesie, and i hope i don't take you for cary granted.

thanks for playing the googaa backpatting game! i just burped, so you're all at ease!